Is your marriage gone forever if you catch your partner cheating or having an affair?
Cheating in a relationship is more common than most people realize. As per research by The University of Utah, 20-25% of men cheat with their partners after marriage, while 10-15% of women in a relationship cheat with their partners with tied knots. The rate of cheating with partners for both genders varies with age.
Cheating is evil, leading to ruined marriages or broken relationships beyond repair. However, it is essential to analyze why people cheat with their partners.
According to InStyle, partners cheat because of a lack of emotional connection, no sexual connection, bad boundaries with others, unfair fighting, assumptions about your relationship status, unresolved childhood issues, sex addiction, and drug/alcohol addiction.
In many cases, cheating is not justified, but in some cases, one might accidentally cheat because of a wrong decision or under the influence of alcohol.
In those cases, what matters is how you react to it and how much you are willing to give in if you genuinely love your partner.
This blog aims to educate and answer you clearly “if marriage counseling works after infidelity/cheating or having an affair” and related FAQs you can’t afford to miss.
So let’s get started with what is the purpose of marriage counseling.
What Does Marriage Counseling Do?
Marriage counseling aims at helping couples resolve the problems they face in their relationship. It helps them identify the issues and promote a healthy relationship.
A trained therapist communicates with you and your partner to identify and address the issues causing problems in your relationship. The therapist works with you to develop strategies for effective communication, resolution of problems, and problem-solving.
You may also explore your feelings and emotions with the help of a therapist. This will help you develop a deeper understanding of each other. Ultimately, marriage counseling enables you to build a stronger, healthier, and happier relationship.
Does Marriage Counseling Work After Infidelity/Cheating/Affair?
The question remains: does marriage counseling work after infidelity/cheating/affair? The answer depends upon many factors, as the person cheated on in a relationship will feel betrayed by their partner.
The factors that decide whether marriage counseling will work after infidelity, cheating, or an affair that your partner had, depending on the following:
Acknowledging the Betrayal
The first step in addressing infidelity in a relationship is acknowledging the person who betrayed their partner. The person who sinned must take full responsibility for their evil actions by heart and apologize to their partner.
Apologizing also means not repeating the same mistake. Both partners must be willing to discuss the affair openly and honestly in counseling to identify the reason and factor as to why the person cheated.
These conversations can be difficult, but allowing the other to know that you take full responsibility and lay the foundation of honesty to move forward is essential.
A skilled therapist specializing in marriage counseling can facilitate these discussions professionally and effectively and help the couple navigate the complex emotions involved.
Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and rebuilding it after cheating is a difficult task. If you can rebuild the trust, consider your relationship saved. It is no easy task, though; it takes time, patience, and constant effort from both partners.
The person who cheated should be open and honest in the future, and the person who has been cheated on must be willing to trust their other half. Couples counseling not only help the couple identify the underlying issues, but it also helps the couple to know the potential trust issues they may face in the future and how they can counter the problems effectively.
Therapists in couples therapy may also suggest some activities or exercises build trust among lovers, such as shared experiences and improved communication.
Infidelity can activate intense emotional reactions like anger, sadness, and resentment. You and your partner must manage these emotions and work through the feelings in counseling.
The person who is betrayed in the relationship must be willing to express their emotions in such a way that it is constructive, and they should avoid lashing out in anger or retaliation.
Working on Intimacy
Infidelity can wreck the intimacy in a relationship, and rebuilding it is hard but not impossible. Marriage counseling allows couples to work on rebuilding their emotional and physical intimacy bond.
To increase emotional closeness, the therapist may suggest some exercises as well. That may include sharing positive experiences and expressing gratitude towards each other. The therapist may also improve physical intimacy by establishing boundaries and exploring the physical needs and desires of each other.
Addressing Underlying Issues
Infidelity is often a symptom of underlying issues in a relationship. The problems are a lack of communication, intimacy, or emotional support. It’s essential that these issues are identified and that these issues are worked on in counseling.
A skilled therapist will communicate with both of you and identify the underlying issues to develop strategies to address them. Improved communication, setting boundaries, and working on individual issues like anxiety and depression are involved in the counseling.
Can a marriage/relationship go back to normal after emotional cheating?
Yes, it can go back to normal. Rebuilding a relationship/marriage after emotional cheating can be difficult, but it’s possible. You can heal and move forward if you take the proper steps.
You and your partner must be committed to the process for the relationship to work after emotional cheating. You must be willing to make the necessary efforts to rebuild trust and repair the damage done.
If you are willing to work on your relationship after the unfortunate event of emotional cheating, congratulations, you have just taken the first step toward your recovery process. The next step is for the guilty party to take full responsibility for their actions and be honest with their partner.
Being transparent with your partner in the future is critical as well. You also need to work on your communication and rebuild trust. For this part, you will need the help of a therapist who works with both of you to get the best results for both of you.
Ultimately, whether a relationship can go back to normal after emotional cheating depends on the unique circumstances of the relationship and the willingness of both parties to work through the challenges together.
Is marriage counseling worth it after cheating?
Marriage counseling can be beneficial after cheating. It is a neutral space for both partners to explore, share and discuss their feelings and the underlying issues that led to the unfortunate event.
You and your partner can understand the root causes of cheating through a therapist specializing in marriage counseling and develop strategies that prevent the event from happening in the future.
A skilled therapist can help the couple communicate more effectively, address unresolved conflicts or resentments, and work towards a healthier and happier relationship. If you and your partner are committed to the process and willing to put in the effort, marriage counseling will be worth it.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy after Infidelity?
It is common and normal to experience emotional turbulence after infidelity when you enroll in couples therapy. However, a skilled therapist can help you resolve the issues and rebuild trust and intimacy with your partner.
The therapist in couples therapy will work with both of you and help by communicating effectively to help you and your partner understand the root causes of infidelity and identify all underlying issues in their relationship that may have caused the affair.
Open and honest communication is necessary, and you and your partner can begin to heal and move forward together with positive vibes. Healing takes time and patience, but it’s not impossible. With commitment and hard work, you and your partner can become stronger out of therapy and more connected than ever.
Does infidelity pain ever go away?
Infidelity pain can be long-lasting and agonizing, especially when it involves long-term effects on the relationship. Infidelity can have a significant impact on both men and women. Still, it can be particularly devastating to women who often experience emotions such as betrayal, anger, and depression.
Some couples can work through the aftermath and rebuild their relationship through couples counseling after infidelity; others may find it easy to walk away. It can take time to heal from the pain of cheating, and post-infidelity stress disorder can sometimes last up to two years or more.
Even when couples can stay together after infidelity, the marriage may never be the same. However, with time, communication, and counseling, creating a new, more substantial relationship is possible.To stop reliving infidelity, it can be helpful to seek the support of a therapist or counselor who can help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies.
What do therapists say about affairs?
Therapists typically view affairs as a symptom of deeper issues within a relationship rather than the problem itself. They recognize that infidelity can be a complex issue with many contributing factors, including communication problems, emotional distance, and unmet needs.
In therapy, therapists may work with couples to explore the underlying causes of the affair and help them develop strategies to rebuild trust, improve communication, and strengthen the relationship.
They may also help individuals process their emotions and develop coping strategies to manage the pain and trauma associated with infidelity.
Along with couples counseling, you may also go for individual therapy after infidelity for better character-building for you and your partner. It can benefit both of you and help you and your partner get your relationship back together.
For people with kids, these types of situations can negatively affect their children’s developmental years. To keep an eye on your children and to keep the mental state of your kids healthy, here’s what you can do. Also, learn more about the importance of mental health support groups.